


You're stronger than him

by Livesinbooks



Series: Season 04 Episode 18 Fix-it [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Drama, First Kiss, Kind of a fix it because i couldn't just not write something after episode 18, M/M, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 18:03:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14360742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livesinbooks/pseuds/Livesinbooks
Summary: Episode 18My interpretation on how the season should continue





	You're stronger than him

**Author's Note:**

> Barry and Iris aren't a couple and just best friends

“Ralph! Just... fight it, alright? Fight it! I’ll save you.”

“You already did, Barry. “

“No... No... No!”

 

Ralph was in pain. A lot of pain. It was worse than he had imagined dying.

And it didn’t seem to stop.

 

Through the cloud of pain he heard voices. One was familiar. It was his own. Which was pretty weird.

The other one... He knew that too. And after what felt like an eternity in pain, he recognised it as well. It was DeVoe’s wife.

Then he didn’t hear his own voice anymore. Instead he heard DeVoe's voice.

Then the pain was too much and he didn’t hear anything for a while.

 

The next time he was conscious enough to make out voices, he tried to listen to what they were saying. But he couldn’t understand it.

After another lifetime of pain he gave up and his mind relaxed into the state of unconsciousness.

 

A painfully familiar voice brought him back from the black and quiet place. He still couldn’t make out words, but the voice was frustrated. No, hold on, not frustrated... In pain.

 _Barry!_ Ralph tried to call out, but he couldn’t. The pain got worse and threatened to bring him back to the unconsciousness, but Ralph fought against it as hard as possible.

He felt something. Even more pain. As if something was trying to tear him apart. And then he fell and heard something hit the ground.

If he had a body he would’ve thought it was him. He heard Barry's voice again. It sounded hopeful this time.

Then another voice. Cisco. He sounded urgent.

Ralph tried to listen closer, make out words, but the pain and exhaustion of whatever he did overwhelmed him and everything faded into nothingness.

 

Ralph felt like too much time had passed when he heard voices the next time. But something else had changed as well.

He felt stronger. And the pain was weaker. Or he just didn’t feel it so much anymore.

So when he heard voices this time, he could even make out words.

“Soon, my love. Soon we will strike and finish our plan.”

“But...”

“Are you doubting our plan?”

“Of course not. I’m just worried about you. You seem... tired, recently.”

“I'm fine. I’m simply getting used to this new body.”

New body... Ralph felt panic gripping him. He wasn’t dead. He wasn’t even dying. He was trapped in his own mind while DeVoe was in control of his body.

The realisation made him hopeful and terrified at the same time. The pain got stronger at the mix of emotions and the last thing he heard before losing consciousness again was:

“Clifford? Clifford are you alright?”

 

Ralph slowly remembered what he had realised the last time he’d been awake when he woke up the next time.

He stayed calm though and didn’t knock himself out again. He listened, but there was nobody talking at the moment.

And then he did something he couldn’t do before: He opened his eyes.

Ralph looked around carefully and found himself in an unfamiliar bedroom next to DeVoe's wife.

He gripped the blanket tightly to stay calm and got up from the bed then, as quiet as possible.

On naked feet he walked over to the window and looked out. This was the house of the DeVoes. 

He tried to think. How could this have happened? Why hadn’t DeVoe thought of this? He had always known all possible outcomes. Why would he leave Ralph in his own mind and even in control of his body?

“Clifford?”

Ralph was so startled by the voice that he immediately passed out again.

 

The next time he was in control of his body again it was dark, like last time.

Again, he was lying in bed, but alone.

Ralph took the opportunity and got up again. Maybe he could somehow contact Team Flash and they could find a way to help him.

But what if DeVoe left him in his mind for that reason? To draw out Team Flash and kill them all?

Ralph couldn’t risk his friends, his family like that. So instead he walked out of the room and searched for a weapon. He could at least end this for good.

In the kitchen he grabbed a large knife and tried to recall the best methods for stabbing yourself.

But he had forgotten that his body could stretch. And so the knife just popped back out without doing any harm.

Ralph wanted to scream out of frustration, but he managed not to. Instead he put the knife back into the drawer and turned around.

He had to find another way to kill himself and DeVoe.

But before he even managed to exit the kitchen, his time was up and he fell into the dark abyss.

 

Whenever Ralph was awake, he planned. He thought of ways to kill someone and tried to apply it to himself. But nothing worked.

He was clueless, until he remembered the Trickster.

He needed acid.

 

Ralph had no clue about chemistry, so it was pointless to try and make acid on his own.

He needed help.

But who could help him? Who could he ask without endangering Team Flash?

Ralph had no idea. So the next times of consciousness, he spent panicking.

 

“Barry!”

Pained screams.

That was what Ralph woke up to next. Luckily it was a full awakening, so he could move.

But he didn’t at first because there was Barry in front of him. On the floor. In pain. Bleeding.

“Barry,” Ralph choked out.

“Stop it, DeVoe!”, the speedster hissed. “I know he’s gone. You killed him!”

“Barry, it’s me! I’m still here!” Ralph forgot about the fact that maybe DeVoe was using him in this moment.

“I said stop it! I’m not listening to you!”

Ralph felt a new kind of pain then.

He buried his fingernails in his palms to stay conscious. He had to help Barry get out of here.

“Run, Barry. Run.”

Then then he punched himself in the face as hard as possible and knocked himself out.

 

When after that Ralph woke again in bed next to DeVoe's wife he got the feeling that maybe they hadn’t planned this. That maybe they didn’t know how to control this. That they maybe didn’t know this was happening at all.

So Ralph made a decision. He had to call for help. Cisco and Harry might know how to get him out of here or DeVoe out of him. 

And if not, they could at least make the acid to kill him.

Ralph sneaked out of the room and tried to breathe calmly to stay conscious. He couldn’t let DeVoe take control again while he was in the midst of sending his SOS.

Since he didn’t know a better way to do it, he used DeVoe’s smartphone.

He'd destroy it after this. At least he knew how to do that properly thanks to his police work and work after that. Well, at least he knew how to not do it properly and leave clues. So he’d just do the opposite.

He sent a long email to the Star Labs computer, describing how waking up felt at first and how it felt now. He described his attempts to kill himself and DeVoe and his realisation for what he needed. He also included his concerns that DeVoe knew of this and urged them to be careful.

Then he sent the mail. He was about to destroy the phone when he had a better idea.

He concentrated on it and slowly shrank it to the size of the fingernail of his pinkie finger.

Then he frowned and shrunk it to the size of a small bug.

It felt weird to use that power and black dots danced in front of his eyes. He had to hurry.

Ralph concentrated again and hid the tiny phone in his skin above his heart. Then he gave in to the blackness and hoped that Team Flash would believe him.

 

“Ralph?”

It was night again. Ralph thought for a moment that he had dreamed the voice, but then he heard it again.

“Ralph?”

He sat up slowly and looked around. At the end of the bed there was Cisco. But not the normal Cisco. He felt... unreal. And he simmered a bit.

“Is that you?”

Ralph nodded slowly.

“Don’t say anything or you might wake her up. Harry said you’d wake up again tonight. Don’t ask how he knows. He calculated it. I’m vibing you right now, not DeVoe, so I decided to call your name when you started moving.”

Ralph sat up carefully, staring at Cisco. He wasn’t sure if he was dreaming. But he hadn’t dreamed before. He had always been awake so far when he could move.

“DeVoe could see me when I vibed him once. I thought, well, you're kind of him now, so you should be able to do it too. And it obviously works. This isn’t the safest way of course, so I can’t talk to you about any progress we made, but...”

Ralph frowned as Cisco stopped and looked away from him. Then he vanished.

He almost wanted to sigh disappointed when Cisco returned, Barry next to him this time.

“You gotta hold on, Ralph, okay? I promise you that we'll find a way to save you. You don’t have to die. We'll separate you. Just hold on.”

Ralph smiled lightly and nodded. He trusted Barry.

Then the black dots started dancing again and he quickly waved at them. Cisco nodded and they vanished. Seconds later Ralph passed out.

 

It’s in the middle of a conversation when Ralph woke up again.

DeVoe's wife was looking at him expectantly and Ralph tried to stay calm. He could use this to gather information for Team Flash.

“I’m sorry...” Ralph tried to remember how DeVoe talked to her.

“I’m sorry, my love. I must have been distracted for a moment. What did you say?”

She looked upset for a moment before smiling. “I was just asking you how you are feeling today.”

_Okay, Ralphy, prove yourself that you could've become an actor_

“Oh I’m feeling fine, don’t worry, my love. How is... the plan looking?”

“Clifford? Are you sure you’re fine? We just talked about the plan in detail.”

Dammit.

“Oh, of course we have. I just meant...”

Ralph’s heart raced.

“The other plan. Of dinner today? Didn’t I already ask you?”

Then he passed out.

 

“Ralph?”

Ralph sat up abruptly and Cisco cursed quietly and shushed him.

“Can you go outside? You’re not in their real house, we can’t get to you.”

Ralph shook his head quickly.

“You can’t take me with you. He could wake up any second,” he whispered.

“It's too dangerous.”

Cisco nodded. “We know. Barry just wants to talk to you. About the progress. And for that we gotta make sure it’s you and not DeVoe tricking us.”

Ralph hesitated.

“Is Barry safe?”

Cisco nodded.

“I can’t tell you how, but don’t worry, even if DeVoe wakes up, Barry is safe.”

Ralph nodded and checked if Mrs. DeVoe was still asleep, then he sneaked out of the room and tried to orientate himself.

It took him almost ten minutes to find a way out of the fake house to the lab and open a pocket dimension to get to the real house and outside to the street. He left the weird seat in the house.

Barry was waiting for him in a dark corner and stepped out of it as he approached.

“Why do you always make jokes even in serious situations?”

Ralph blinked, taken aback.

“I already told you that, Barry. It’s because of my mom after my dad left us.”

Barry smiled relieved. “It’s really you. You survived.”

Ralph was again taken aback when Barry hugged him tightly. Then he hugged him back, feeling safe for the moment.

“I thought you were dead.”

“I thought I was dying too. Somehow I didn't.”

“You’re stronger than him.” Barry tightened his grip around him.

“You can beat him. Cisco and Harry think you can kick him out of your mind again with your thoughts and will. You just have to concentrate and focus.”

Ralph shook his head. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”

Barry stroked over his back. “Yes you can. We all believe in you. You’re the only one who managed to take control again, even if just for a few minutes. You can do it.”

Ralph saw black dots. “No, he’s waking up,” he whispered. “I don’t wanna go yet. Please come back.”

Barry leaned back a bit to look into Ralph's eyes. “I’ll come back, I promise. Hold on, okay?”

Ralph nodded shaking and Barry flashed him into the house on the chair.

Ralph opened a pocket dimension and returned to the lab. He didn’t manage to get out of the seat before passing out.

 

Ralph practiced then. He tried hard to kick out DeVoe every time he was conscious. But it took so much concentration that he mostly passed out again after the first attempt.

He didn’t know how he could stay awake for longer or even control when to wake up. It all seemed so random. Until he started to notice a pattern.

He woke up when DeVoe was the weakest, so while he was asleep or especially tired or emotional.

Ralph emailed this knowledge to Team Flash and returned to trying to separate himself from DeVoe.

One time he thought he had almost succeeded when he felt the pain again that felt as if someone was trying to rip him apart. It made him pass out.

 

The second time Ralph met Barry, the speedster asked him about the time Ralph visited him in prison. After he was sure it wasn’t DeVoe, he pulled him into another hug.

Ralph melted into Barry’s arms and could forget about all the failed attempts. Until he had to tell him about them.

But Barry calmed him down and assured him that he simply needed to keep practicing.

“One day it’s gonna work.”

“One day... I’m scared it’s gonna take too long. That he finishes his plan before I can stop him.”

“I trust you. You proved to me that you’re worth my trust.”

Ralph started shaking and pressed closer to Barry, feeling small and helpless.

The speedster held him tightly. “Shh, it’s all gonna be fine. You can do this.”

They stayed like this for a few minutes until Ralph stepped back.

“He’s waking up.”

Barry flashed him to his chair and Ralph passed out after returning to the lab.

 

Ralph practiced more and tried to ignore the pain for as long as possible. And he did make a bit of progress, but he couldn’t separate.

He was scared DeVoe might find out and told Barry this the third time they met.

Again Barry tried to calm him down and reassured him.

Ralph didn’t wait for Barry to hug him, this time he wrapped his arms tightly around him.

Barry smiled sadly and rubbed his back. “I got you.”

This time when the black dots appeared again, Ralph stopped Barry from flashing him inside.

“Wait. I gotta do something before it’s too late to do so.”

He leaned in and kissed Barry. The speedster didn’t hesitate for a moment and kissed him back softly.

When they parted again Ralph felt less tired and more energetic. But before he could say anything else, Barry brought him to the chair.

This time Ralph managed to walk back into bed before passing out.

 

After their kiss Ralph felt more energetic every time he woke up. And he felt more certain that he could beat DeVoe. That he could free himself.

He was determined and had something to look forward to. He had to explore what Barry kissing him back meant.

 

It worked at night. Ralph had been lying awake for about half an hour, trying to separate himself. It hurt horribly, but he kept going.

And then suddenly everything went black and then he hit the floor with a thud.

Ralph slowly opened his eyes and sat up. And froze when on the bed there were still two bodies.

One looked like the meta with the pocket dimensions again, the other was Mrs. DeVoe.

Ralph got up on shaky legs.

DeVoe stirred in his sleep and Ralph's heart skipped a beat.

He started sneaking away from the bed towards the door when he realised that he was naked.

Naked, tired and scared. But also free.

So Ralph kept walking, out of the door and though the fake house.

In the lab he hesitated before sitting down on the chair again.

He hated it, but Team Flash could use it.

He pressed the right button and a moment later he used it to fly out of the house. Since he didn’t know how to change the destination of the pocket dimensions he then flew all the way to Star Labs, heart racing.

Since it's night nobody was there. Ralph left the chair in the hallway and entered the cortex.

He started shaking like a leaf in the wind then and fell down on a chair.

He had done it. He’s free.

 

Ralph woke to a gun held to his head and handcuffs around his wrists.

He realised that he must have fallen asleep on the same chair in the cortex he had sat down last night. 

“DeVoe.”

Ralph looked up at Harry who held the gun and shook his head. 

“Not DeVoe.”

He grinned lightly.

“Ralph?” That was Barry’s voice and Ralph spotted him behind Harry, held back by Iris and Caitlin.

Ralph had never been so glad to see them all.

“Barry,” Ralph choked out. “I did it. I escaped.”

Barry shook the women off of him and stepped closer.

“What did I say to you in your office on one of the early days?”

“Not sure which one of the talks we had there it is that you mean, but you for example said you’ll make it your personal mission to protect my heart.”

Ralph blinked and the next second Barry was hugging him tightly. “You really did it?”

“I really did it.”

This time Barry kissed him first.

**Author's Note:**

> The end of Episode 18 was horrible and I had to write this


End file.
